posted on 14/8/2020 15:49Russ In Cheshire's 'The Week In Tory' - part 2 - Gramsci.

 

21. Education news, and in the beginning, the govt opposed adjusting A-level grades

 

22. Then top fireplace salesman and irony no-fly-zone Gavin Williamson said “The danger is that pupils will be over-promoted into jobs that are beyond their competence”

 

23. And then the govt introduced a “moderating” algorithm to adjust grades

 

24. Then the Tories told the Scottish govt to abandon its own adjusted grades

 

25. And when the Scottish govt did Tories had asked, the Tories said it was a disgrace and they should resign

 

26. Then multiple Tories called for Gavin Williamson to do exactly the same thing

 

27. The Assoc of Headteachers said the govt’s handling of this is "a rolling disaster"

 

28. Things are moving fast. But not as fast as the contents Gavin Williamson’s small intestine

 

29. The govt’s algorithm awarded twice as many grade increases to pupils from private schools as it did to state schools. 

 

30. And an Education Policy Institute report found wealthy pupils get 1/3 more funds from the "levelling up" budget as poor pupils get

 

31. Scrupulous honesty news: property developers gave the Tories £11m in the last year, and then, miraculously, the Tories relaxed rules on planning permission

 

32. Amongst the regulations they tried to scrap was the one requiring dwellings to have at least 1 window

 

33. Robert Jenrick said "you can trust me on housing", 3 weeks after he admitted wrongdoing in helping a Tory donor avoid £45m tax

 

34. To be fair, he then denied admitting wrongdoing, even though he had admitted it on camera, and that's always the mark of a man you can trust

 

35. The Royal Institute of British Architects said the reforms were "shameful" and would "lead to a generation of slum housing"

 

36. Housing charity Shelter said the reforms "will mean the end of affordable housing" and force more than 1m people onto housing waiting lists

 

37. But Priti Patel said Syrian refugees were the real cause of our national housing crisis

 

38. She asserted that people claiming asylum in the UK was illegal, which it absolutely is not, under any circumstances, ever

 

39. Then she appointed an excitingly-titled "Clandestine Channel Threat Commander" tasked with, amongst other impossible things, pushing migrant boats back out to sea, in direct contravention of international law and British Navy regulations

 

40. A leak from inside the MoD said Patel’s plans were "completely potty", "inappropriate, impractical and unnecessary” and had "more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese". I’ll put them down as a 'maybe'

 

41. Priti Patel then had an argument about this with some ice-cream

 

42. James Cleverley, a hugely successful one-man campaign against nominative determinism, joined in, but confused "virtue signalling" with "obeying the law"

 

43. Tory MP Sir Edward Leigh had a solution: "We should never have lost Calais in 1558. Why not take it back?"

 

44. Then Sir Edward, a vocal, life-long Brexit fan, said we should pay the EU to manage migration for us, but it has been very warm, and he does look like a man who has been in the sun far too long

 

45. Speaking of Brexit, it was revealed Tate and Lyle, Tory donors and No Deal cheerleaders, will gain £73m if we get No Deal, because they can import more of the very unhealthy sugar they supply

 

46. So obviously, the govt started a TV campaign telling us to stop being fat

 

47. The govt condemned the Russian state, which said it had a vaccine that hasn’t been approved by regulators

 

48. And then it was revealed UK’s much-vaunted 90-minute rapid Covid test has not been approved by regulators

 

49. The govt said children would be safe if we re-opened schools

 

50. And then Boris Johnson said he would "bulldoze schools" in which there were Covid outbreaks, which seems a smidge excessive if Covid can’t spread in schools

 

51. The govt said there was no evidence any children had caught Covid in school. Schools are closed, so it would be difficult right now, but let’s not try to apply logic any more

 

52. An international study found pupils over 12 are just as susceptible to Covid-19 as any adult

 

53. Scientists called for routine testing of teachers and pupils

 

54. The Schools Minister said no because, I’m sorry, I have no idea why the Schools Minister said no, and neither does he. People asked. He didn’t have an answer.

 

55. And then Immigration minister Chris Philp asked if he could re-record a live interview, after he forgot what country he was from