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posted on 29/5/2025 19:57Sticky test - filthymick
An occasional series that explores stick-related shenanigans in an enlightening yet sophisticated fashion
NOW EVERY FRIDAY
A kebab is a dish of meat, fish, or vegetable pieces that are grilled or roasted on a skewer, spit or stick. In the modern era there are two popular forms of the dish, both originating from Turkey but differing in preparation and presentation; shish kebab involves grilling cubed meat on skewers over coals or an open flame, while doner kebab has layered stacks of meat roasted on a vertical rotisserie. Shish uses lean, savoury cuts of marinated meats for cooking, while doner uses fattier meats, leading to a subtly different flavour profile. Regardless of preparation technique, numerous scientific studies have proven that meat always tastes better on a stick.
Shish-style kebab can be reliably traced to nomadic Middle Eastern tribes as far back as the Ottoman Empire, where it was usually served as part of a lavish banquet, although its provenance is undoubtedly much older. Doner is a much more recent style. Originating in Istanbul in the 1960s, kebab restaurants began to use vertical spits as a space-saving measure. Thinner stacks of meat allowed for a more equal distribution of both fatty and finer cuts, and the vertical cooking technique enabled the meat to self-baste, unattended.
Due to its time-efficient preparation method the doner kebab rapidly became a very popular fast food, especially in countries with large Turkish immigrant populations such as Germany, the UK, and parts of Scandinavia. Cooked meat is shaved off the spit, wrapped in a flatbread such as lavash, dürüm or yufka and topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and yoghurt sauce. Doner has become so popular in Germany (*) that it recently surpassed currywurst as the nation’s favourite fast food in a YouGov poll. Afficionados believe that doner was first popularised here by a Turkish immigrant named Kadir Nurman in 1972, who sold his first döner kebap in West Berlin from a dönerladen next to the Bahnhof Zoo.
Similar dishes such as shawarma, gyros, and Halifax donair (a Canadian version) are variations of the basic doner kebab concept. As a cheap, portable dish the UK dirty donner variant is viewed as an ideal plat digestif after a night of social influencing at the local wellbeing hub. Inexpensive badly packed kebabs can easily be procured on most street corners after closing time, especially in Marple Bridge if you know where to look.
The spit roasting culinary technique also lends its name to a popular three-man form of aerobic exercise. The prone spittee must engage in horatio with one partner, while simultaneously berthing the rear admiral as the third participant attempts to navigate the Windward passage. The final roast is typically finessed with flavourful condiments such as curdled sour cream, gentlemans' relish or high fructose porn syrup.
Notable spit roasts in history include Hitler being embarrassed by the Allies in 1945 and a brutal massacre in Salford that remains unsolved to this day.
The word ‘doner’ comes from the Turkish word dönmek’, meaning ‘turning’. A donna is also a female name of Italian origin meaning 'lady.' Famous Donnas include
- Summer, 1970s disco anthem purveyor and honorary president of the Richard Gere Appreciation Society
- Ma, prehistoric pickle bagger and professional Baba Yaga impersonator
- Air, pseudo-Geordie and 1990s starter for ten. Famous babs include
- Windsor, midget gem, national treasure and Carry On alumnus
- Phil, fake paddy and sometime left-back best known for suffering a crushing defeat in the polls at Chelsea.
The Bad Astronomy Bulletin Board (BABB) is an elite gentleman's club that has very little to do with sticky things. Notable members include current secretariat Dinsdale ****bollock Culpano, who can usually be found spending long nights outdoors searching for Uranus while frantically adjusting his telephoto lens.
(*) Translation: "I have an onion on my head / I am a kebab / because kebab makes you more beautiful.” Yes, really
- Welcome to the garden, please respect the rules, we got all the plants you want, honey we got the tools -
NOW EVERY FRIDAY
A kebab is a dish of meat, fish, or vegetable pieces that are grilled or roasted on a skewer, spit or stick. In the modern era there are two popular forms of the dish, both originating from Turkey but differing in preparation and presentation; shish kebab involves grilling cubed meat on skewers over coals or an open flame, while doner kebab has layered stacks of meat roasted on a vertical rotisserie. Shish uses lean, savoury cuts of marinated meats for cooking, while doner uses fattier meats, leading to a subtly different flavour profile. Regardless of preparation technique, numerous scientific studies have proven that meat always tastes better on a stick.
Shish-style kebab can be reliably traced to nomadic Middle Eastern tribes as far back as the Ottoman Empire, where it was usually served as part of a lavish banquet, although its provenance is undoubtedly much older. Doner is a much more recent style. Originating in Istanbul in the 1960s, kebab restaurants began to use vertical spits as a space-saving measure. Thinner stacks of meat allowed for a more equal distribution of both fatty and finer cuts, and the vertical cooking technique enabled the meat to self-baste, unattended.
Due to its time-efficient preparation method the doner kebab rapidly became a very popular fast food, especially in countries with large Turkish immigrant populations such as Germany, the UK, and parts of Scandinavia. Cooked meat is shaved off the spit, wrapped in a flatbread such as lavash, dürüm or yufka and topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and yoghurt sauce. Doner has become so popular in Germany (*) that it recently surpassed currywurst as the nation’s favourite fast food in a YouGov poll. Afficionados believe that doner was first popularised here by a Turkish immigrant named Kadir Nurman in 1972, who sold his first döner kebap in West Berlin from a dönerladen next to the Bahnhof Zoo.
Similar dishes such as shawarma, gyros, and Halifax donair (a Canadian version) are variations of the basic doner kebab concept. As a cheap, portable dish the UK dirty donner variant is viewed as an ideal plat digestif after a night of social influencing at the local wellbeing hub. Inexpensive badly packed kebabs can easily be procured on most street corners after closing time, especially in Marple Bridge if you know where to look.
The spit roasting culinary technique also lends its name to a popular three-man form of aerobic exercise. The prone spittee must engage in horatio with one partner, while simultaneously berthing the rear admiral as the third participant attempts to navigate the Windward passage. The final roast is typically finessed with flavourful condiments such as curdled sour cream, gentlemans' relish or high fructose porn syrup.
Notable spit roasts in history include Hitler being embarrassed by the Allies in 1945 and a brutal massacre in Salford that remains unsolved to this day.
The word ‘doner’ comes from the Turkish word dönmek’, meaning ‘turning’. A donna is also a female name of Italian origin meaning 'lady.' Famous Donnas include
- Summer, 1970s disco anthem purveyor and honorary president of the Richard Gere Appreciation Society
- Ma, prehistoric pickle bagger and professional Baba Yaga impersonator
- Air, pseudo-Geordie and 1990s starter for ten. Famous babs include
- Windsor, midget gem, national treasure and Carry On alumnus
- Phil, fake paddy and sometime left-back best known for suffering a crushing defeat in the polls at Chelsea.
The Bad Astronomy Bulletin Board (BABB) is an elite gentleman's club that has very little to do with sticky things. Notable members include current secretariat Dinsdale ****bollock Culpano, who can usually be found spending long nights outdoors searching for Uranus while frantically adjusting his telephoto lens.
(*) Translation: "I have an onion on my head / I am a kebab / because kebab makes you more beautiful.” Yes, really
- Welcome to the garden, please respect the rules, we got all the plants you want, honey we got the tools -
- Sticky test - filthymick 29/5 19:57 (read 63 times, 1 post in thread)