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posted on 8/4/2022 11:02Here we go. Another Week In Tory - Gramsci.

Courtesy of @RussInCheshire

1. Let’s start #TheWeekInTory with PartyGate, where randy Honey Monster and (no, really) Prime Minister Boris Johnson denied 20 fines meant there had been wrongdoing
2. This doesn’t quite explain why he had personally phoned the Queen to apologise for all the wrongdoing 
3. Regardless, The Met issued MASSIVE fines of £50 for breaching lockdown rules
4. Last week a £2,200 was handed down to a member of the public (who didn't live or work in Downing St) for breaching lockdown rules, thus proving we’re all equal in the eyes of the law 
5. Maria Caulfield said the PM was “very clear there was wrongdoing”
6. Same TV show, she said the PM “did not believe there was wrongdoing”
7. Dom Cummings (Lucius Malfoy after a flash-fire) said “the PM encouraged attacks on junior officials” to distract from his own crimes 
8. Having promised to release all party photos to the Sue Gray inquiry, No 10 now refuses to release photos, and denies they even exist
9. Anyway, off (very slowly) to Dover, to find a week of 23-mile, 30 hr traffic jams as a combination of Brexit paperwork and P&O problems hit 
10. Last week the govt promised to sue P&O
11. It dropped that promise 4 days later, once it had attracted enough good headlines
12. The govt had also promised to improve worker’s rights
13. This week the govt shelved those plans for the second year running 
14. Kent had a "temporary traffic management system" that we were told would be scrapped in Oct 2021, by which time Brexit would be simply marvellous
15. This week that temporary traffic system was made permanent, in recognition that Brexit will never stop being dog-**** 
16. This brings us on to a cross-party report this week, which found Brexit has caused 500,000 agriculture vacancies
17. So the govt issued 30,000 temp visas, which is 6% of what we need
18. Amazingly, this didn’t solve the problem
19. Nor did a 50% increase in farm pay 
20. But it has led to a huge increase in food prices and costs for farmers
21. Lack of workers means crops are going unharvested, and left to rot
22. The loss of crops, cost increases, and damage to supply chains caused by Brexit has been “financially ruinous” to UK farmers 
23. And it has led to 27000 healthy pigs being culled cos we don’t have enough staff to prepare them for the table
24. That’s 27000 healthy animals shot and chucked in the bin, while we have over 2.5 million people using foodbanks
25. You definitely voted for that, right? 
26. But at least it’s better than the horror of Ukraine, where 6.5 million refugees seek homes, and our world-leading govt has taken 43 days to issue just 2700 visas
27. So far only 500 refugees have been allowed into the country. Out of 6.5 million 
28. Naturally, given the urgent crisis, this week the Home Office chose to shut down part of its visa system, which officials called “chaotic”
29. And then the govt admitted they’ve been “giving Ukrainian refugees the wrong guidance” on how to apply to come here for over a month 
30. The Tory refugee minister in the Lords said his own govt’s response to refugees was “embarrassing”
31. Undeterred – but definitely still turd – Home Secretary and rabid Dolores Umbridge cosplayer Priti Patel’s put forward lovely new plans to criminalise refugees 
32. They were rejected by the House of Lords after the lord chief justice pointed out they “breach international law”
33. Over to Number 11, where Rishi Sunak, who is being chancellor during his gap year, made loads of friends in yet another devastatingly successful week 
34. He began by blocking the Green Homes plan that would have reduced energy bills
35. Then he forced everybody with rocketing and terrifying fuel debt to take on an additional £200 of fuel debt, whether they like it or not 
36. Sunak then insisted giving people money that they had to repay “doesn’t make it a loan”
37. Brandon Lewis, out of his depth on a sheet of graphene and battling to hold 2 ideas in his head at once, told an interviewer “It is a loan, let’s remember. No, it isn’t” 
38. To show how much he sympathised with the desperate plight of the poor, Sunak generously donated £100,000 to foodbanks
39. No, hold on: let me correct that: he donated £100,000 to his old boarding school Winchester College, alma mater of some of the richest people on earth 
40. In his next act of empathy, Sunak demonstrated a great way we could all avoid freezing as his fuel and tax policies cause catastrophic hardship: leave behind all the massive problems you just caused, and fly off to your £5m holiday home in sunny Santa Monica 
41. Feral gonad Sajid Javid said it was “right and fair” that we all pay more tax than we can afford
42. He then said it was right and fair for Rishi Sunak’s billionaire wife to avoid tax she can easily afford, cos what are we: animals? Or - god help us - Belgians?! 
43. Akshata Murthy (Mrs Sunak) has non-dom status, so doesn’t pay tax on most of her billions of income
44. This includes income derived from the £727m stake she has in Russian businesses that her husband spent last week telling the rest of us we shouldn’t invest in 
45. Sunak said his wife was only avoiding tax cos she’s Indian
46. But being Indian doesn’t make you exempt from UK tax if you live/earn here
47. And being non-dom isn’t an accident of birth: she pays £30k a year for it
48. But it has allowed her to avoid £20m of tax 
49. The average Brit worker pays £6k per year in tax, so Murthy’s greed has wiped out the entire contribution of 3,330 British workers
50. And then the govt, by some amazing twist of happenstance, chose her family firm to be recipients of £50m in contracts 

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