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posted on 8/4/2022 11:06(cont.) Another Week In Tory - Gramsci.

 51. Let us enter the (presumably quite large) orbit of Eric Pickles, former housing minister and current ****, who respectfully attended the Grenfell Inquiry
52. He respectfully told them he was too busy to answer their questions 
53. He said the fire killed 96 people. It killed 72, which he respectfully couldn’t be arsed remembering
54. Still, he’s an improvement on Nadine Dorries, who ignored a committee of MPs telling her the new Ofcom head shouldn’t get the job because he has a “clear lack of depth” 
55. The same flaw hadn’t stopped Dorries getting into cabinet, so she pressed on regardless
56. The last time Dorries appointed a head of the Charity Commission – and a friend of Boris Johnson’s, wouldn’t you just know it – was December, and he lasted barely a week 
57. So this week, without bothering to run an appointments process, she appointed a different member of the Tory inner-circle as the new charities head
58. MPs had already rejected this one too, as being “slapdash”, and I think I’m starting to spot a pattern 
59. The Tory chair of the culture committee said the actions of Dorries simply proved “the public appointments process is broken”
60. Taking her queue from this, Dorries then moved on to breaking Channel 4 
61. Dorries (the actual Culture Minister, and not a woman dragged in front of the cameras straight from a fight outside a flat-roofed pub) said C4 being publicly funded was “holding it back”
62. C4 isn’t publicly funded, and Nadine is so thick you could stand a spoon up in her 
63. Dorries's sterling native stupidity didn’t stop Ben Bradley (the Lego form of Al Murray) from using her as a role-model, so he also claimed C4 gets “£ from the taxpayer” and can’t raise its own funds
64. It raises its own funds via advertising 
65. Grade B MP David Warburton was suspended for class A drugs, and for sexually assaulting 3 women
66. It probably won’t help his defence that he’d posed for photos next to a baking-tray full of cocaine
67. Tory whips knew about his drugs/assaults for weeks, and did nothing 
68. Warburton has checked himself into a psychiatric unit
69. He somehow jumped the place of the 60% of children’s mental health referrals currently being rejected, because a decade of Tory cuts (which Warburton voted for) has left us unable to care for our kids 
70. Perhaps Warburton will pay for his own care, maybe using the undisclosed £100k he just took from a Russian businessman
71. This was hot on the cloven-heels of Priti Patel, who this week took a £100k “donation” from an oil trader 
72. A donation is not the same as a bribe. One is illegal, the other legal. But occasionally, by some chance-in-a-million fluke, they produce identical results
73. For example, days after getting a donation from an oil trader, Patel opposed windfall taxes on oil company profits 
74. Which brings us to the energy crisis, and 2 weeks ago the PM promised a “long-term energy policy” based around windfarms
75. And then 9 cabinet ministers – the usual supercluster of arrant gob****es, Patel, Dorries, Rees-Mogg etc – demanded a cut in support for windfarms 
76. So the PM’s “long-term energy policy” has lasted 2 weeks, and today's wild, sweaty fumble in the policy tombola has led to a new one: 6 nuclear power stations instead, which won’t open for decades, and for which there is no money 
77. There’s also no money for home insulation, which is the cheapest, fastest, and greenest way to conserve energy and reduce bills, and could start tomorrow
78. However, ministers did launch a plan to drop the ban on fracking, contradicting their own manifesto pledge 
79. Other manifesto pledges: a mini-thread, as if you haven't suffered enough
a. “We will not raise National Insurance”
b. National Insurance increased by 10%
c. “We will keep the pension Triple Lock”
d. They abolished the triple lock 
e. “No-one will have to sell their home to pay for care”
f. People still have to sell their homes for care
g. “We'll build rail between Manchester and Leeds”
h. Scrapped
i. “40 new hospitals”
j. Isn’t happening
k. “We will cap energy bills”
l. Energy bills are up 54% 
m. “0.7% of GDP on international aid”
n. They ended most international aid
o. “We will host the first ever LGBT conference”
p. So this week govt cancelled that conference as 100s boycotted it in protest at Tories failing to outlaw conversion practices for transgender people 
80. Anyway, back to the main thread, which - yep - is still grinding on, you poor ****ers. The latest broken pledge on clean energy came the same week the IPCC said “extreme steps” are needed immediately to avert “catastrophic climate change” 
81. Faced with this existential threat, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the result of a Dalek having hate-sex with a pendulum, said he supported extracting “every last drop of oil from the North Sea”
82. Bear in mind this lot hosted the COP26 climate summit less than a year ago 
83. Although Boris Johnson did take a private jet to Devon to attend it, which should have given us a hint about his intentions
84. And if that wasn’t a big enough clue, the Tories let Shell pay £0 tax on oil and gas production last year, and instead we PAID THEM £92 million 
85. Research this week showed in 2 years the PM has told 17 uncorrected lies in parliament, and ministers a further 27
86. The ministerial code says any falsehood must be corrected, or the minister must resign. But still they cling on 
87. And finally, 5 million people had Covid last week, experts called the cancellation of health measures a “perfect storm”, and 3000 NHS staff per week are off sick with the virus
88.So naturally, we chose this exact moment to cancel free rapid testing

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